The Christmas Songbook
Christmas 2013:
Spend Your Dough
[tune: Let it Snow words: Parodee]
All the crazies out there are frightful, but the bargains are delightful
to the shopping mall you must go:
Spend your dough, spend your dough, spend your dough!
Then Thanksgiving Day was a sly day, an excuse to stretch Black Friday,
God forbid that the sales should slow...
Spend your dough, spend your dough, spend your dough!
It's a Christmastime hype gone nuts, as the message is lost on the way...
Venture out if you've got the guts, but don't let your spirit decay!
So you think that the sale's soon ending, and you must step up your spending
as reality takes a blow,
Spend your dough, spend your dough, spend your dough!
"J.C." doesn't mean Just Consume, this not what the season's about.
For the Joy and Peace there's no room, as long as the Ad Men have clout!
So avoid any store collision , it is finally your decision,
to desist and then just let go,
Just say no, Spend no dough, Spend no dough!
2010: All I Want for Christmas is News
[Tune: Same Words: Parodee
I don’t want a lot for Christmas, just trying to hear the truth
What I hear is all opinion, either right or left wing views
I’m not here to take a side, give me truth and I’ll abide,
The way they used to do… All I want for Christmas is news
How I wish for Walter Cronkite. That man had the nations trust
Now we only get McNews-Lite, which celeb could pundits bust,
Cable news has got a problem – too much time and not much class,
Pouring out the useless filler, when they could inform at last
Britney Spears or Tiger Woods, which new hottie has the goods,
All the junk they spew… All I want for Christmas is news!
How would Santa Claus be covered?: Prove his elves are on the take
Rudolph with his nose beloved: stalk him-prove that he’s a fake,
Grinch says there’s a war on Christmas: but his armor’s pretty weak,
North Pole secrets spilling over, find them all on Wiki Leaks
Real news doesn’t stand a chance, not as long as Stars can Dance,
We’ve lost our worldly views. All I want for Christmas is news!
Winterland is buzzing, that Frosty is a perv,
They caught him right on Dateline, He really has some nerve
He’ll get more than a wrist slap – He’ll go to Celeb Rehab-
Santa put the squeeze and he’s begging on his knees
They’re feeding all our fears, it’s a national disease!
I don’t want a lot for Christmas, this is all I’m asking for,
Let’s return to Journalism, talking heads go out the door,
Fear and rumor step aside, take them for an endless ride,
Make my dream come true-All I want for Christmas is NEWS!
Click to Play
2009: Actually Getting Close to Christmas
[Tune: It's beginning to Look A lot Like Christmas Words: Parodee
It is actually getting close to Christmas in reality,
They’ve been hyping for two months now,
(Ridiculous, I avow)
At least it fosters peace and harmony!
It is actually getting close to Christmas,
Lines in every store-
As they push and shove me now,
more than patience will allow,
still the crowds want more!
It seems that everyone's clamoring, stammering, hammering
seeking presents to please-
(Zoo) Zoo Pets with Tourettes or a virtual headset or new mechanical fleas
A 12-step program’s needed for this annual disease!
Now it actually getting close to Christmas,
My, how time can fly,
Decorations that have been seen-
since Thanksgiving and Halloween,
Are finally timely pleasing to the eye!
So it’s actually getting close to Christmas,
only days away,
There’s a reason for the season,
more than all that corporate teasin’,
Let us find a way…to Peace on earth today!
2008: Christmas Bills
[Tune: Silver Bells :Words: Parodee]
Christmas shopping, ‘til we’re dropping
From Black Friday to here,
Why the stress? You can save through December.
There’s no pressure for each treasure,
Stores are desperate this year,
Hope you didn’t get carried away!
Christmas bills, Christmas bills,
We’re overdrawn, it’s not pretty.
In full swing, cashiers ring,
Next year we’ll all have to pay!
Watch that credit, you’re indebted
Just enjoy what you see,
As the season is ever expanding,
From a week out, past Thanksgiving,
now you’ll find Christmas scenes,
decorated before Halloween!
Christmas bills, give me chills,
Rates soar and debt isn’t pretty.
Sing along, you can’t go wrong
But pay them by next Christmas day!
As we rail out from the bailouts,
“Where’s the handout for me?”
All the bankers relax in Fat City.
Those investors: cash molesters,
Pulled a great Ponzi scheme
As we send out our taxes their way.
Christmas bills, Bailout ills,
CEOs begging’s not pretty.
Wall Street’s boss: Main Street’s loss,
Maybe we’ll hock Santa’s Sleigh…
Or put it all on eBay!
